Days of Our Lives
by FluffDucklings
Summary: It's never an easy life for a teenager, but when said teenager is transgender, life can definately become more complicated. At home she is Emily Kirkland and at school he is Arthur Kirkland, but really, he just wishes she didn't exist. T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Here is transgender!England for you all... I'm not sure if this will be contintued though. If anyone can give some constructive criticism, it would be much appreciated!  
>I know the part explaining Axis, Virginia seems out of place but I when I wrote it I was thinking that explaining the town on the way to school would help to understand how some of the future characters may act... I dunno. Heh...<br>I don't own Hetalia, Advil, Game Informer, or anything else I may have mentioned. And, as far as I know, there is no Axis, VA - I just made it up from the name of the anime/manga/webcomic we all have come to love so much.  
>I hope I don't gross anyone out with the first part of the story, but it's essential for explaining EmilyArthur's situation. Also, when you see the changes of Emily to Arthur and back to Emily and same for pronouns, it is purposeful, but I'll leave that up to you to figure out why~

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did while writing it!

**Slightly Edited: 01-05-12**

* * *

><p>Emily Kirkland stared up to her dark ceiling. The fairly new blue paint was just barely discernable through the blackness. A tiny light from the small television across the bedroom was the only light – though it was irking.<p>

On the wall behind her she had the Union Jack flag hanging from the wall, a Jolly Roger on the wall to her left. Knickknacks collected throughout her youth were placed in a decorative fashion on the dresser; a giant mirror behind it reflecting the blackness.

It was calm, peaceful. Everything was in place.

Then there was a sharp pain in her stomach.

Emily groaned inwardly. She rolled onto her side, clutching her stomach, willing the knotting pain away, but to no avail.

It was the 17th. Around midnight. The time when _that_ always began.

"Go away. Go away," she whispered.

She could feel her body at work, preparing itself to cleanse itself of useless, unfertilized eggs.

She could feel the cramps and nausea coming on.

The metallic smell every woman knew too well filled her nostrils from past experience. The very thought of her period filling her with dread.

It was only one of many things that she hated. Hated with such a passion.

But, one had to wonder. Why was she waiting up in bed for her period? It seems an odd thing to do, right? Especially for one as young as herself. Just barely in her teenage-years.

"I'm not supposed to have this," Emily whispered to herself. Chanting almost. "It's wrong, all wrong."

A small pain struck her stomach again and she began to cry.

"Please stop," she cried to herself as he felt the uneasiness well through her.

Emily fell asleep holding her body, repeating the earlier mantra over and over again in the recesses of her mind.

=0=0=

Emily woke with the same knot in her stomach.

There was a small red stain on her night clothes and bed sheets and she stared at them with a defeated glare.

Stuffing the bed-wear and sheets into the laundry machine, Emily got ready for the day after showering and applying the necessary feminine hygiene products on herself, stuffing emergency items into the recesses of her messenger bag, away from prying eyes.

She downed two Advil and headed on her way to school, locking up the front door on the way out.

Slowly, as she walked down the sidewalk to high school, Emily pushed the thoughts of menstrual cramps to the back of her mind as the medicine worked its way into her system. Slowly, she reverted into her more comfortable self. Slowly, she reverted into Arthur Kirkland.

Short hair – not to girly and not to boyish; somewhat androgynous clothing style; gentlemanly mannerisms; Emily reverted into her, sorry, his self.

=0=0=

Axis High School was a fairly diverse school, when it came to demographics and such. The town it was in was just as diverse. A cultural melting pot of sorts.

On the outside, both were perfect images of America's icon community. All ethnicities coming together and living in harmony, but truthfully, were one to look past the white picket fences and into the large bay-windows of the many houses in the Axis community, they would see what really went on in daily America.

Families ignoring each other: children watching too much television, mothers treading deadly waters in the latest gossip of the neighborhood tramp, fathers kicked back in a chair, beer in hand, as the games played. Life was drab and grey.

The school community was not much better. Students avoided other students due to social class, ethnicity, idiosyncrasies.

When entering the school for the first time, you found your group and stuck to it. No intermingling. No friendships between the Jocks and Geeks. No meetings with the Scholars and the Punks.

And that was life in Axis. A small town – grinning on the outside and snarling on the inside – in Virginia.

=0=0=

Emily, or Arthur as sh-he preferred, got to school a good thirty minutes before the first class was to begin. He headed to his usual meet-up spot in the cafeteria, past the Punks and Pot-Heads and to the patio just outside the cafeteria.

There he met with a small group of friends. Outcasts of sorts – not knowing where they fit in or not allowed to fit in by their fellow classmates.

There was the exchange student from Russia, Ivan, the boisterous Alfred, timid Kiku, and finally, Arthur – Just Arthur.

The three boys were already sitting at the table when Arthur arrived. Alfred waved his arm wildly in what was probably supposed to be a greeting.

"Put your arm down before you kill someone." Arthur sat down next to Alfred anyways.

"But I'm just so glad to see you! This weekend was so boring!" Arthur emphasized his words by flubbing on the table with exasperation. "Mom made me and Mattie clean the whole house for a party she had."

Arthur turned his head, having forgotten about the fifth addition to their little group. The infamous Matthew. Always disappearing, that one. "Ah, sorry, Matthew, I didn't notice you there."

"It's fine."

Alfred took hold of the conversation again, hating to share in the attention for even a second (even if it was with his twin brother). "So it's the 17th, Artie~" Alfred waggled his brow, nudging Arthur in the ribs. "You know what that means~"

Arthur's face reddened a bit and he shoved Alfred away from him. "Shut up about that, eh? It's none of your business."

Although, it was relieving to know that his group was accepting.

"Aw, but I was just being curious!"

"Oh, you were curious? Well, would you like to know how my day's been so far?"

Alfred nodded childishly.

"Alright. I've had blood and other unmentionables pouring from the inside of my body in a most disgusting and painful way. Add to that additional stomach cramps from blobs of the stuff being pushed though tiny tubes in my body to actually get out, I'd say I was just dandy."

Alfred stuck his tongue out, the other boys hiding their slight disgust.

"Well, that must suck."

"Yes, Alfred. It most definitely sucks."

And the bell rang.

Kiku and Ivan jumped up, relieved of having to listen in on any more feminine talk. Matthew excused himself, though really, no one heard him, and Alfred and Arthur went on their way to Algebra 3.

"We have a math test today."

"What!" Alfred flung his head towards the blackboard to, sure enough, find that "Test 6 – Lessons 26-32" was written in their teachers scrawling handwriting.

"Let me guess, you didn't study?"

Alfred ignored his friend and instead decided to fume on his desk, head lying across his bag.

The first half of school passed mostly uneventful. Alfred complained about the test before and after and in-between taking it, Kiku almost exploded the chemistry lab after Arthur misread the instructions and the Asian added a tad too much Sulfur to their concoction, Ivan scared the three other exchange students from the Baltic nations, the youngest one (a freshman) nearly wetting himself. Yeah, a mostly uneventful day.

=0=0=

Matthew was waiting for the others to arrive at their usual table at lunchtime. He had band fourth period and was always able to get to the cafeteria before the huge mass of students was able to crush him as he obtained his lunch.

He waved shyly to Arthur as he neared, who downed one more Advil and drinking from a water bottle. "Good afternoon."

"Ah, I think it's still morning, actually." Arthur glanced at his watch and nodded. "I swear, they serve lunch too early. It throws off our eating schedules too much."

Matthew nodded, not really saying much else, not one for words instead more of quiet company.

They waited for the others in a friendly silence.

Alfred ran up behind them a few moments later, shouting, "I've got a sandwich," and flinging said food onto the round table in-between Matthew and Arthur.

Ivan came up next, carrying his tray of lunch food – really, it didn't even deserve to be called food at all. And Kiku came last, having to navigate to his locker on the third floor for his lunch box.

The group ate silently for a few moments before Alfred started babbling about his latest issue of _Game Informer, _brandishing said magazine from no-where and opening it up to a random page to start discussing. Kiku scooted closer to him, reading an article, or looking at the cute figurines on the page beside the article, Arthur couldn't tell.

"You will rot your brains with such activities, da?" Ivan commented around a sip of milk. "Oh, I'm sorry. Alfred has no brains to begin with." The Russian smiled childishly as Alfred began defending himself.

"Oh yeah? At least I'm not from some Communist country, like you!" A bit harsh, but none of it was meant truly.

"Better Communist than Capitalist, Comrade."

A typical lunch for the group.

=0=0=

As he trekked down the sidewalk, this time with Matthew and Alfred flanking his sides, back home at three o'clock, Arthur was smiling just a bit more. Though, he knew he would have to start switching back his mental use of pronouns to their feminine form before he got home.

"We'll see ya tomorrow Artie, Mattie and I've gotta get to the store before we head home. Bye!" Alfred and his twin waved goodbye and Arthur turned into his walkway, searching for the house key buried somewhere in hi-her bag.

Emily unlocked the door, her senses instantly being hit by something that smelled awfully French.

_He_ was home.

"Is that you, Mon Lapin?"

Francis. Her cousin from Quebec.

"I'm not your damn rabbit, Frog!" She shouted into the house.

"But you are still my favourite _cousine, _Emilia~"

"My name's not Emilia, either!"

"Oh, then would you prefer me to call you Arthur?"

Emily paled. "S-Shut up, Francis."

"Oh, don't worry your head. You're mother's not home yet."

Francis popped his head out from the kitchen. "I'm making dinner tonight so go wash up. Lord knows how many germs you've contracted from that filthy public school you attend."

Emily bit her tongue to refrain from snapping at Francis. Her school was just fine, thank you. It may not be the best ever, but it did perfectly fine in giving her an education.

Francis shook his head after Emily as she made her way to the upstairs bathroom, farthest away from Francis at the moment, and sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I apologize for such a long wait. Very sorry. But I haven't been near an actual computer with internet in forever. But I have had this chapter done for a while - before Christmas actually... heh. I hope everyone had a good holiday break and great New Years! I wish you all good luck for the new year.  
>I don't own anything mentioned in this except for the plot.<br>I hope you enjoy this as much as I did while writing!

Oh! And a word to the wise: Louisiana hotels give you a complementary toothbrush. An electric toothbrush. Under the bed sheets.

* * *

><p>According to Alice, Emily's mother, Francis would be staying with them for the rest of the school year and a bit into the summer. His family was going through some kind of fall-out and his parents' marriage was unstable. Or something like that, Emily didn't really pay attention.<p>

But that night, while Alice arranged the guest bedroom – changing bed sheets and ruffling the curtains for dust – she chatted with Francis as Emily got ready for bed herself.

"She's so stubborn."

"How so, Tanti?" Francis helped stretch the sheets over the corners of the bed and lay down the blankets and pillows.

"I'm always trying to go out with her, bonding and stuff, but she either goes and has this annoyed look on her face or she flat out refuses."

Francis chuckled. "I'm sure she's just got things on her mind. I've noticed she's been hanging around that Alfred quite a bit."

"Alfred? You mean Pastor Jones' child?"

"The very one~"

Alice thought a moment, fluffing the last pillow a moment. "Hmm. I guess that would explain some things. But…"

"But?"

"But, she's still acting so oddly. Every time I buy her new clothes, I find them shoved in the back of her closet still with the price tags on. And she's never even touched the make-up I got her for Christmas."

"Ah, while I think it is such a shame that such a pretty girl as Emily is hesitant to indulge on her more feminine side, it's just her… thing. She's not a very, er, girly-girl. Make-up and skirts may not just appeal to her."

Emily, who had just gotten out of the shower and was passing by the door, stopped for a moment to listen on their conversation. She leant closer to the door, careful not to push it open anymore than it already was.

"Try doing things she likes. Go to a book store or a library. Books are important to her."

Emily furrowed her brow. Why would Francis be giving advice to her mother?

"Books? Well, she is always reading those old copies of Harry Potter. Thank you, Francis. And thank you for making dinner tonight - that was such a treat to come home to."

Oh, to look good.

Emily continued on her way, locking her bedroom door once it closed.

On the nightstand by the bed was a bottle of Advil and she took two with a bottle of water sitting next to it.

Fine. Francis could say whatever he wanted. If he wanted to tell her mother ways to try and bond with her, fine. Emily would just make sure and do exactly the opposite.

Flicking the light off and feeling her way to the bed, Emily lied down and stared at the ceiling, listening to the two others move around until she fell asleep.

=0=0=

"Wouldn't it just be easier to tell your mom? I mean, aren't there a whole bunch of shows on the T.V. now about that stuff? Maybe you could try it like those?"

Arthur sighed. "It's never that easy, Alfred. How would your father react if you went up and told him you were actually a girl, or better yet, gay?"

"G-Gay?" Alfred blushed the most infinitesimal amount. "U-Um…"

"Exactly. Now if I told Mother I was a guy, she'd probably blow the whole thing into unnecessary proportions. Not telling her is the best route."

"Fine. But I'd keep an eye on that Frenchie. He'd probably drop the bomb just to look good."

Arthur nodded and finished his sandwich.

=0=0=

"They were talking behind me last night."

"What?" Alfred stopped in his tracks, Matthew bumping into him.

Arthur helped the quiet boy up, nodding his head. "Francis is trying to get Mother to sidle up to me and I wouldn't put it past him to slip something to her."

Alfred scrunched up his face, his cowlick bouncing excitedly. "That's so wrong though!"

"What if Francis doesn't mean any harm by what he said, though?"

Alfred and Arthur turned to Matthew, both having half-forgot about him. "Ah, Mattie, always thinking outside the box!"

"I doubt that though, Matthew. Francis is a conniving little Quebecois twat. No offense."

Matthew shook his head. "None taken."

"Hey! Why don't you come over to our house, Artie? Mom's making a bunch of stew and it would give you a chance to get away from your mom." The (somewhat) ditsy blond smiled his goofy smile and slung his arm around brother and friend.

"Why not? Fine."

With his arm still slung around the two, Alfred started walking forwards, past Arthur's home and to his own.

"Are you sure your mother won't be upset with you inviting a guest at the last minute?"

"Nah. She'll just be happy to have more people to eat her cooking."

"Artie's eating dinner with us!" Alfred called into the house as he swung open the door. "Mom?"

"Ah, sorry, hun, your dad's going to be a little late. He has a couple more confessions to deal with and then he has to do a bit of paperwork." Amelia stuck her heel into the hallway from the kitchen. "Did you say we have a guest?"

"Yup. Arthur's gonna eat with us tonight. Is that alright?"

The three teenagers came into the kitchen. Matthew went to wash his hands and start helping with dinner while Alfred sat down at the table with Arthur.

"That's fine. How are you, Arthur?"

"Same old, same old. It's nice to see you again, Mrs. Jones."

"Same to you. Would you guys like something to drink?" Amelia handed Matthew a knife and a head of lettuce to begin a salad.

Alfred jumped up, grabbing two sodas out of the fridge. "I got 'em. C'mon, Artie, let's go play a video game before dinner."

Arthur relented and followed the abrasive blond up the stairs, coke in hand.

"You really should clean your room, it's very unbecoming."

"Hey, don't go all dictator on how I should keep my room, Artie."

The two played a video game for a while until Matthew came up telling them it was time for dinner. Mr. Jones just walked in and he washed up before sitting at the table.

Amelia set down the bowl of salad and a stack of bowls, helping herself to some of the stew.

"I hope it's alright, Arthur."

"It's fine, Ma'am." Arthur ate a spoonful to prove it – thought that was kind of a bad move what with burning the roof of his mouth.

"What brings you here tonight, Arthur?" Mr. Jones asked. He was seated between his wife and Matthew while Arthur sat beside Alfred on the opposite side of the table.

"Alfred invited me over for a break from home."

Mr. Jones chuckled. "I can understand that."

"Hey!" Alfred pointed his spoon at his father playfully. "I take offense to that!"

"Oh hush up, Alfred, and eat your stew." Matthew giggled behind his hand to that.

Arthur took another bite of stew but before he could swallow, a pang resonated in his stomach. "M-May I be excused for a moment?"

"Sure honey. Are you alright?"

"Fine. I'll be right back."

The bathroom was the first door on the right, down the hall. Once inside, Arthur locked the door, taking a deep breath and digging in his pocket for an Advil. After a few moments waiting for the pain-reliever to kick in, Arthur flushed the toilet and washed his hands to feign actually using the restroom.

=0=0=

After downing two more Advil, Emily lie in her bed, curled in a sort of fetal position, holding her stomach. She was nauseas and felt a bit rundown from the blood loss. Alice had been in to check on her, offering a cold pack for her head or a warm water bottle for her stomach.

"You'll learn to deal with it, sweetie, every woman does."

"I'm not a woman, though," Emily longed to say. She repeated it in her head until her mother left, hoping – just a tiny bit – that she was somehow telepathically enabled.

Alone, Emily could concentrate on her body. She could almost feel it at work. Then, just barely, she could feel that little trickling of blood on her thighs. She knew she should be wearing a tampon or a pad or something, but she couldn't bring herself to.

Before she fell asleep, a tear slipped down her cheek as the flow started.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I've had this done for a while (since chapter two actually), but I didn't want to post for a while so I could work on further chapters.  
>I had a hard time writing for Alfred because I knew I wanted him to go through a similar experience, but I wasn't sure how. (I even contemplated AmeriCest... But that wasn't the right path for this story so...)<br>Also, I want to thank 'Someone' for their anon review. I really loved it, though I was disappointed that I could not reply back. And so I want to say (to get rid of any confusion) that Arthur uses feminine pronouns and his given name at home so he doesn't slip-up and refer to himself as a male in front of his mother, which he really does not want to do. Though, that becomes a bit irrelavent at the end of this chapter. (Spoiler?)  
>And, when I was just a bit younger (sophmore, junior) I would constantly take Advil because I had bad cramps. (Don't be grossed out, fanboys - it's human nature!) That, and I just don't handle pain (even on the miniscule level) well. So, Arthur taking that much Advil only seemed normal to me. (Thank you 'Someone' for that little bit of info on hysterectomies - I honestly didn't know that!)<p>

If there is anything else that you, my readers, would like to point out about the way Arthur progresses through this story, please drop a message!

I don't own anything in this story. Hetalia, Advil, and anything else mentioned belongs to it's respective owner.

And finally~ I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'll hopefully be able to get the next chapter up soon!

* * *

><p>"It's been four years, Alfred."<p>

Said blond looked up from the manga he had borrowed from Kiku. "Huh? Four years what?"

"Four years since I started puberty."

Alfred flushed. "O-Oh, yeah. Um, not that I don't care, but why the sudden flashback?"

"You know I knew I was… Arthur before that, right?"

"Yeah. You said that you knew you were a guy when you were like five." Alfred closed the book and looked at his best friend. They were sitting in the library as the rest of their English class browsed the shelves for their own choice of book.

"And it's been four years that I've had to deal with… this." Arthur gestured to his body. "You know, wearing bindings hurts like hell. It's constricting and feels like I'm suffocating from the inside out."

Alfred nodded. This wasn't an unusual conversation for the pair. Arthur – Alfred wouldn't say constantly, though it really did seem like it – normally started on rants about his life during random bouts of mild depression to vent. "Then tell your mom."

"I can't and you know it. It's not that easy."

"How can it not be? Just go up to her one day and say, 'Hey, Mom! You know how I was born a girl? Well, actually, I'm a guy'."

"And then she'll blow up or have an aneurism. I just know it."

"Or she'll be her usual self and worry about you. Really, your mom is not as bad as you make her out to be."

"That's only because you don't live with her! And what about if my brothers come to visit from college or wherever the hell they live?"

Alfred shook his head. "Then they'll deal with it too. Geez, Artie, you make everything way too complicated!" Alfred scrunched his face and thumped his book on Arthur's arm.

Arthur made a grab for the book but missed, leaning over a bit too much and brushing Alfred's chest just the slightest bit. Alfred dropped the book.

=0=0=

"I can't walk home with you today 'cuz Kiku is coming over to play video games. And I'm sure Franny is going to be molesting my brother in the other room so you'll have your house to yourself until your mom comes home."

Arthur felt he should have been worrying for Alfred's brother, but he and Alfred both knew that Francis would never actually molest Matthew (too badly). They were more just good friends who liked to talk in French with each other.

"Fine. Have a nice play-date with Kiku." Arthur waved Alfred off and then began on his way.

The house was empty when he arrived. Arthur set his bag on the floor beside the couch in the den and sat down on it, resting his neck on the back and stared at the ceiling. The squiggles and bumps gradually became lions and dragons and fairies as he daydreamed for a while.

When Alice called to him, Arthur jumped, startled nearly out of his skin. The sun was already setting, what with winter approaching, and he could smell the beginnings of a dinner.

"Are you awake, honey?"

Arthur furrowed his brow for a moment, confused. Then he realized where he was.

"Yeah. I was just taking a quick nap," Emily said. She stood from the couch and found her mother chopping potatoes.

"Alright. I was just going to ask if you wanted to go to the bookstore after dinner. I know you like reading and stuff so I thought it would be nice to go out." Alice gave her best half-smile while concentrating on the root.

"That would be nice, Mom, but I've got a lot of homework to do tonight. Maybe some other time? I'm sorry."

The smile vanished and the chopping picked up just a tiny bit. "Oh, well, that sucks. What do you have? Maybe I could help?"

"Just some math and a bit of history and I've got to study for a Latin test." All subjects Alice was worst at.

"Oh…" She moved onto the next potato. "Well, could you work down here? I could really use the company."

Arthur's morning had gone fairly well. The leak had stopped and there were no cramps to speak of. But, as he entered the school, he felt a shock of electricity run inside him. The atmosphere was thick and hovered over not just him but nearly the entire school population. Surely the councilors would get a kick out of this. All down the hall people spoke in whispers, mumbling.

The cafeteria was not excused. Instead of its usual jovial state students had their heads hung, a dark, uneasy aura surrounding everyone. It seemed that the only one enjoying the new atmosphere was Ivan.

His large, childish smile was planted happily on his face. He waved to Arthur once he saw him. "Good morning, Comrade!" he said cheerfully.

Arthur nodded curtly, sliding onto the bench beside Alfred.

The tension radiating from said blond was almost radioactive.

Arthur nudged him. Alfred ignored him or he was sleeping, though the way his head was angled, it could not have been very comfortable.

Er, Alfred?"

"Don't bother, friend. Our dear Alfred is being rather down today, yes?"

"Y-Yeah… Um, Matthew? Could you shed some light on us, please?"

Said twin was currently sitting across from Alfred, hands kneading in his nervous tick.

Alfred mumbled something from under his jacket – a kind of twin-speak that only Matthew could understand.

"Alfred's just not feeling well."

The three sane people at the table looked at Matthew, who reddened in embarrassment, with indifference. Really, a flea could lie better than that poor boy.

Arthur shook his head. "Honestly, Matthew, what's wrong with Alfred? The whole school is being affected by his downer attitude."

The blond squirmed in his seat for a few moments before Alfred sat up, pushing his jacket off his head and brushing his hair out of his face. A large red mark was on his cheek, from where he was lying.

"'ld dad."

"Speak up, friend. It is rude to mumble."

"I told dad."

"You told your father what, Alfred?" Kiku asked.

Alfred shook his head. "I'll tell you guys later."

=0=0=

As the day went on, the clouds seemed to lift and take the tension with it. The students gradually found their voices again and by lunch they were buzzing loudly again (some even getting a bit too rowdy, though the cops were able to break up the scuffle in under a minute).

After sixth period Government let out, Arthur found himself being tugged down the hall by a very jittery Alfred. Matthew was nowhere to be seen (Arthur even did a double take to make sure).

"Where are we going, you idiot."

"We're walking home together – like always." Alfred spared him a smile, though it didn't have the same charismatic charm like usual.

Honestly, if Arthur didn't know any better, he would say Alfred was the girl with all the mood swings he had nearly every day.

"Actually, it is you walking with me dragging behind; which I don't particularly enjoy, mind you."

"Sorry."

Now that worried Arthur. Alfred never – never, never – apologized for menial things. "Alfred, what's wrong?"

Alfred turned around, kicking at the dust on the sidewalk. "Dude, you know I keep your secret from your mom and I kept it from my mom until she figured it out and really, honestly, I haven't told Dad, yet."

"Yes. You're a great friend for doing something like that for me."

"W-Well, I was hoping you could keep a secret for me?" Alfred looked down further at the ground. Behind him, the school buses were pulling out of the parking lot across the street.

"You? Mister Big-Shot Alfred has a secret?"

Alfred flushed from embarrassment. "Shut up, dude."

"Well? What is it? Do you still wet the bed or something?"

His face grew redder. "N-No! I haven't done that since like Kindergarten! No! I was going to tell you that I'm gay!" A bit louder than he intended in the first place.

Arthur jerked into a straight position from leaning over to laugh. "W-What?"

"I'm gay. Homosexual. Queer. Get it?"

"Are you sure? This isn't something to take lightly, Alfred. You know that."

"Yes, I know! And I'm sure! God, Artie, I thought of all people, you'd be the one I could tell without having to go through this with."

"Hey. I'm just making sure you're not confused or some shit like that. Don't get snappy with me."

"Sorry." Alfred scuffed at the dirt now. "But… I know I'm not confused, dude. I mean I think I know what gets it up, if you know what I mean."

"Sadly, I do."

"But, that's not the secret." Alfred glanced sideways. He took a breath to calm down and said, "Me _and_ Mattie are gay."

Cue the flaming cheeks.

"Both?"

Alfred nodded.

Arthur sighed. "I guess that just adds another thing to the list of oddities of our group."

Alfred made a small noise and shifted his weight. "M-Mattie told dad last night."

Arthur nodded. "You said something about telling your father something. Is that it?"

The blond shook his head. "I lied earlier. Mattie was the only one who told dad." His blue eyes glazed over as if with regret or some other troubling emotion. "I told him to wait for a better time, but… Mattie said he couldn't keep quiet anymore." Alfred exhaled exhaustedly. "Dude, you know Mattie. He's the sweetest guy you'd ever meet. And dad, he's… really strict when it comes to his job."

"He didn't take it well."

Alfred shook his head. "He yelled, kinda, and then got real quiet-like, then got loud again. Then he told Mattie he would fix him." It was hard for the lone twin to say the word, but then he spat it again. "Fix him!"

"I know, Alfred, I know. There's nothing to fix." Arthur looked around once again, as if assuming the boy in question would suddenly appear out of nowhere like he did far too often. "Where did you say Matthew was, again?"

Alfred's cheeks reddened a bit. "He's waiting for a friend before coming home. He didn't really say."

"Ah. Well, let us just see how this whole situation plays out and how your father reacts. And don't let him try anything on poor Matthew or yourself." Arthur thought for the slightest moment of giving his friend a good-luck hug, but decided against it. "Good luck."

"A-Actually, Artie." Alfred grabbed the sleeve of Arthur's jacket before he could leave. "C-Could you keep another secret?" His cheeks were reddening even more.

"I might as well. If I don't, I fear you'll explode."

Alfred nodded and gave a pathetic attempt at a smile. "I-I kinda like someone too."

Arthur looked at Alfred for a moment then nodded. "Alright. If that's all, make sure your brother gets home safely. I have to go survive another night of my mother's attempts at bonding."

And with that, he waved Alfred good-bye, missing the flustered face on Alfred.

Students were talking fervently the next Monday. Rumors were spread faster and a scuffle even broke out in the boys' third-floor bathroom from all the tension.

Alfred and Matthew arrived twenty minutes later than their usual time.

Arthur and Kiku were fretting as the two sat down while Ivan clapped Alfred on the back, congratulating him on his shiner.

"Don't worry so much, Artie. This is from Gil." Alfred laughed obnoxiously and slung an arm around his exasperated friend.

"Who's Gil?"

Matthew ducked his head, subsequently becoming invisible, and Alfred leaned closer to Arthur. "He's Mattie's you-know-who," he whispered.

Arthur bunched his brows together for a moment then _ahah_-ed when he understood Alfred's vague speak.

"But, why…" Arthur motioned to the black eye.

"Oh, I got mad at Gil. Someone's gotta play the big brother part for Mattie and make sure he doesn't hang out with bad people. And that guy reeks of trouble."

Arthur leaned in again, "And how did things with your father go?"

Alfred sobered and said in a low voice, "He's doing exactly what I thought he would do. He's being the gigantic religious jerk he is and keeps quoting random versus from the bible. I swear, I could recite it too, now."

"And your mother?"

"She keeps rolling her eyes at dad. She talked with Mattie, but he won't tell me what she said. But she's being supportive."

Their conversation was cut short by the morning bell and Arthur found himself watching as Matthew and Alfred left the cafeteria side-by-side.

=0=0=

Emily was in the dining room while Alice prepared dinner. She was finishing some last minute math homework as her mind swam around the twins and her mother.

Matthew, she thought, was so brave. He came out to his deeply religious father, knowing full-well what could happen and her she was, reverting back to feminine pronouns at home so she wouldn't slip up in front of her mother. _God, I'm such a coward._

And that was it! Emily almost dropped her math book on her foot. She was afraid! A simple thing, being afraid, but she was. That's why she couldn't tell her mother! Just think of it. If she could admit to herself out-loud that she was afraid (maybe to Alfred) of telling her mother that she was actually male, then maybe she could take those other baby steps in coming out.

Emily's heart was pounding at the epiphany. Maybe Alfred… Maybe Alfred was right.

Step one: Permanent use of the male pronouns.


End file.
